A Journey of Hope and Despair: My Experience with Recurrent Miscarriages

October is globally recognized as Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month, and this has inspired me to share a deeply personal, intimate, and often silent struggle with you. This is a narrative that mirrors the experiences of millions of women around the world yet continues to be shrouded in silence - recurrent miscarriages.

The word 'miscarriage' often elicits feelings of profound despair, devastating heartbreak, and debilitating loneliness. It's a subject many women grapple with behind closed doors, silenced largely by societal pressures, misconceptions, and deep-seated taboos. However, it is a journey that I, too, have been through. And I firmly believe that it's time we collectively break the silence that shrouds this deeply personal struggle.

Today, in an unfiltered, brutally honest conversation, I reveal my personal experience with recurrent miscarriages. From the crippling feelings of isolation and self-blame to the inevitable joy that finally came in the form of our precious baby boy. My deepest hope is that this level of openness will extend a compassionate hand of understanding to those who have walked similar paths and stimulate a more inclusive and understanding dialogue about this emotionally challenging subject.

In a candid social media post earlier in 2021, I opened up about my feelings of intense heartbreak and the gnawing isolation I felt. I talked about the guilt and self-doubt that are often silent companions to miscarriages and my personal journey of learning to grieve openly, and authentically. The path was walked with self-questioning, doubt, fear, multiple medical procedures, and innumerable moments of despair. Yet, amidst all this, it was also a journey of unparalleled resilience, enduring hope, and eventual joy.

The feeling of isolation that often accompanies miscarriages is often magnified by societal expectations and pressures to maintain a facade of normalcy. There seems to be an unspoken mandate that women are expected to bounce right back and continue as if nothing happened. Like many, I, too, fell into this trap, showing up at work and carrying on as usual while enduring the most excruciating experience of my life. It was only when I hit rock bottom that I realized something had to change drastically. I needed to let people in, I needed to allow myself the time and space to grieve properly.

Reflecting on my own experience, I want to call on all women to stop suffering in silence. We hold the power to shift the narrative around miscarriages. By being more open about our experiences, we can cultivate a nurturing, understanding, and supportive community for each other. Remember, it's perfectly okay to reach out for help, and it's crucial to allow yourself the time and space to grieve.

As I conclude, I want to extend my deepest gratitude to you for being a part of this community and allowing me to share a part of my personal journey with you. Let's continue to redefine what it means to be a mother, filled with compassion, resilience, and strength.

Let's break the silence on miscarriages and cultivate a culture of understanding and support. Remember, be kind to yourself and to others, and know that you are never alone in this journey.

Listen in to the full episode here: